The unconventional gentleman

I was listening to a song today and it inspired me to write this poem.   Sampson had Delilah, Kermit had Miss piggy, Bonnie had Clyde, and I got this dude??? Ripped off.  Nah, you know I loves ya.

He's an unconventional gentleman

Spawned from the red dirt

Thongs are his trademark

As well as jeans and a t-shirt

His hair is flecked gold, brown, blonde and red

When the sun is out he tans browner than me

He's a stoic son of a gun

He ran circles around me

Don't ever give him Bundy rum

That would be your first mistake

The second would be to sweet talk me

That would be your last mistake

He is the critical voice in my ear that believes in being polite

He is the ever evolving cliche

Of what love is not supposed to feel like

He captured a rolling stone's imagination and kept it still

He caught a free spirit in a glass, and held her against her will

Of all the forces of nature

You'd be mistaken to think him not strong

Because he chained a hurricane to the ground

And silenced a Siren's song

He's a unconventional gentleman

who thinks reading is a utter waste of time

No he will not read this far

His attention will not stretch to these lines

A lovable rogue, my friend my frienemy

He makes a living from mix and mortar

When all is said and done, he believes in me

As he's the man that led my heart to water



Love Hex, Infatuation Junkie

When I first noticed the odd occurrences I laughed it off. It was nice to feel elated. It was pleasant to be awash in warm feelings.  I felt I was merging with the universe. I continued to invite these feelings into my day, and would be off with the fairies at night. After they failed to wane, I got worried. A casual fling of ecstasy every now then is fun. These prolonged symptoms seemed to be abnormal as most things come with a complimentary partner. The opposite to ecstasy of this level would be equal misery. My misery came in the form of preoccupation.  I couldn't get much done and I realised I was missing my life, as in the things around me.  My attention was in the air.

I decided to check out my local bookstore to see if anything would jump out at me. I overheard two women talking about a topic that caught my attention. I joined their conversation. I peered inside the book they were discussing. One of them had had the same symptoms and wanted clarity on the matter. 

I saw a diagram with a man with a vine creeping up his leg. He complained of feeling like his legs were being wrapped in what he said felt was like some energetic force. Warm feelings over shadowed him. He noticed he had dropped out of most of the activities that he had enjoyed. Strayed and denied contact from his usual friend circle, he became inward and withdrawn. After much discussion and turning back and forward of pages, we'd come to the conclusion with further study that a woman had woven a spell around the man. A spell that would bind him to her. He eventually sought relief and successfully unhinged the spell. I thought that it was quite novel and unrelated to me and left it at that.


Playful curiosity brings feelings or warmth.  When the object of your affection greets you with indifference it's outrageous.  Rejection is both a crushing blow and the release of minions of emotional  endorphins fashioned to cushion the damage.  The continuous upper and downer feelings can be alluring.  Infatuation is the dealer, and his drugs are the best in town.  If you are lucky you may contract a  bitter taste of vengeance or heroic stamina that will fight for the integrity of the emotion amidst adverse circumstances.  Either way you are going to get HIGH on the feeling.  Then comes the low.

Contempt loves the silence thrives in the dark

Fine minded tendrils that strangle the heart

Face saving promises whispered like prayers

I don't need them
No, I don't need them

 

I couldn't sleep.  My eyes ablaze with a madness.   A furtive hunger seared through my reality, throwing me out of balance and into an unknown land. 

 I forgot to eat. The day passed and I had missed it. It disappeared.  I disappeared.  I had once dreamt of nature settings, birds singing.  Over night concrete monuments and shrines were beginning to push their way through the skin of my psyche.  For a person I had never known.  I burned.  What is this curse?

My mind was a mosaic of pictures, connections songs.  I snaffled pictures to my phone so I could feed my obsession.  I became consumed with this person and their and activities and their thoughts and...the list goes on and on.  I have often watched some of my friends with this insatiable drive but never witnessed it in myself.  If I could go back to it I would, just to record my feelings again.  The turbulence of being swished around in a dryer of emotion was unreal.  It was enlightening and refreshing and painful all at the same time. 

Because sometimes I am a killjoy,  I continued to pose questions as to what was happening to me.  The idea of Twin flames flirted with me, I foresaw the future and thought that that was too much a lofty goal to aspire to, whilst feeling like I was strung out on crack. So I tried some techniques after going through all the babble you ask yourself about the mirror.  About the gifts that you are not seeing in yourself, the loving of oneself yada yada.  So I ran the basic programme first and then I proceeded forward from there.

I scanned my body using my minds eye.

I imagined cutting Etheric cords.

This is a pretty picture so you probably would leave these cords alone. 

But wait!  The strangest thing...My stomach looked like it had been stuffed with straw.  Symbols can often translate to what you associate with that picture.  I thought of the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.  He had no brains.  So why would I have no brains in my stomach?  Kinda made no sense to me, so I googled  "Spells that use straw to stuff the stomach"  and I came across this:

And look a ye here?

It's a poppet doll.  You can stuff them with straw.  Notice the lovely little pins in it.  Charming.  I then proceeded to read the website I found.  There was a menu of all the lovely things you can do to manipulate a person using the sympathetic magic of a POPPET.  Charming.  After that I did a few more Razza Mattazz things I'd picked up along the way to alleviate this condition  (Everyone has there own magic).  I came back to myself after two days.  So here I am.  I lived to tell the tale.

Shapeshifting in Love and Attraction

All life bows to the needs of sexuality and hunger; these naked needs create the Shamanic practice, is not undertaken solely for the benefit of the Shaman, but in order to help assuage someones need. At no time is this need sharper than when love strikes - Encyclopedia Celtic Wisdom, a Celtic Shaman's source book

The above sentence captured my attention.  I am presently interested in both topics.  The first being love (which is what this blog is usually about), The other is Shamanism.  I hope I can synthesis this unliklely pair.


 Shapeshifting is the transformation (mentally or physically) into that of an animal.  The most adept can actually transform into an animal in their physical form.  I am familiar with stories about the Amphibian Royal bloodlines who have the ability to shapeshift at will, if the rumours of polite society are true.  David Icke has a wide range of information on the subject.

A member of the blue blood Amphibian royal bloodline.

David Icke

 The Art of Shapeshifting in the broader sense of the term generally happens without the knowledge of the person doing it.  Salesman often assess the needs and values of their clients and shift their sales pitch to suit the person they are talking to. The friendly chameleon at the party that can move from group to group and get on well with everybody.

Except perhaps this lizard, the Chameleon.

  I met a man recently who seemed to possessed such qualities.  An agreeable appearance, warm smile, friendly charming nature.  He struck me however as being odd. His first onslaught into my personnel space left me looking like a deer staring into the headlights. I put it down to the clumsy approach line which possessed too much enthusiasm, I then added alcohol and desperation to balance the scales in my mind to justify my awkward feelings about him.  He appeared to know me, like my friend had divulged secrets about me to him.  I went to discuss this with my friend.  She didn't know him.  He then walked up to her and started a conversation with her saying he knew me.  We were both confused.  I sat back and watched him know the girl two seats down from me, the rhino coming through the door, and then finally the two ladies dancing on the pool table.  I have a theory that he shapeshifted into a bar stool or a roll of toilet paper and heard everything.  He turned out to be ultimately strange. 

Lying is also a form of shapeshifting in which this song honestly depicts.

 People often communicate to others in a similar fashion to the way tree roots function.  Information gets passed along the collective consciousness.  Under the surface.   A mock warning sign, which shows up as a physical feature, feeling,  that just doesn't look right for some reason. I have had to take a second glance at someone because they looked "Off".  Places where strong feelings have been released sometimes leave "Energetic prints".  These can be felt in the body as an uneasy feeling.   I think a group of women at different places and times, took out their psychic marker and drew all over the strange mans face, for other women to see in the future. 

Women shapeshift to attract a mate, they produce copulants which in turn have a biochemical reaction in men.  Men in turn produce a hormone that repels all time wasting women who are not ovulating.  The body is so sly in getting people together to reproduce.

 In 2008, the scientific journal Evolution and Human Behavior published a study which examined changes in voice attractiveness during the menstrual cycle. [1] The study found that both men and women reported the voice of a woman who was ovulating as sounding more attractive than the voice of a woman who was not ovulating. This study did not examine how ovulation influenced a woman’s voice, but it is assumed that the hormones released during ovulation interact with the larynx to produce this change.

New Studies are beginning to uncover the science behind sex appeal, unexpected factors like biochemical odors, face shape, and voice pitch.  Our faces change to look more attractive, our behaviour changes, we take more risks, and our wardrobe also changes to the fraction of the size.  This sometimes goes on without our knowledge. 


Sometimes it is hard to notice what is real or what is just an illusion.  Take for instance the Celtic Myth about the warrior Cuchulain and the Goddess of War Morrigan.



Cuchulain

Cuchulain had been very successful in battle and had attracted the attention of Morrigan (The Goddess of War).  She appeared to him on the roadside as a beautiful woman with long red hair, cloak and a grey spear.  She informed him that she was King Buan's dghter (The eternal one) and she was in love with him.  She said that she had been helping him with his battles and would continue to do so in return for his love.  He arrogantly replied that he had no time for women.  She told him that he shall have her hatred and enmity instead.  He went to kill her, but she turned into a crow.  The man should of had some clues at this point.  But I guess when you are really focused it's hard to hear the small quiet voice of intuition.  The crow was her calling card, but he didn't catch on.  She shapeshifted to many different animals and many different guises to combat him.  He wounded her every time.  Till one day she tricked him into offering his healing powers in return for a drink of milk.  His thirst would not be able to be satiated until he agreed.  He agreed she healed.  She haunted him till his death and even made him eat flesh of a forbidden animal, therefore breaking a Gea...

The Goddess of War Morrighan

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Geas


Loyal to the end, when he was killed in battle, she shapeshifted into a crow and sat on his shoulder for the last few minutes left of his life.




So that's all I have to say about Shapeshifting, Love, and attraction.

Love card video diary - Soul coaching cards

I bought these cards a year ago.  I thought they were fruity and peppy.  I felt I had outgrown them, that was until I decided to do the video diary project.  That is when the fun began.  Each card, each day reflected the theme of the card.  I felt I was participating in a game, in which each roll of the dice would lead me to a new experience.  I can't say that I have learnt anything profound, but I understand a few concepts a lot deeper.  It has been a journey, and I am grateful.


I found a deck of cards in my bag and decided to make a video review of each card that I selected at random. I haven't posted any of my findings, however I found that once I committed to it, each card influenced my day. Since this post is about love, I thought...why not. Instead of making a video diary I decided to write about it.


The love card


On the 16 June 2011 a Lunar eclipse occurred.  With it I noticed strange happenings, particularly in the relationship realm.  http://astroblogger.blogspot.com/2011/06/total-lunar-eclipse-morning-June-16.html


Relationships are also under the spotlight, particularly the relationship we have with the self. It is a time of emergence, decisions, beginnings and endings, or new engagement.
As above, so below. The energies of the celestial bodies have a large energetic effect upon us. Waves of energy caused by the relative movements of the celestial bodies affect our mental and emotional functioning has been a lunar eclipse... an excerpt by Shakti Durga


It seemed uncanny to me that during the week in which these things should conspire, I would randomly choose the Love card? On the front is a picture of a male and a female surrounded by a heart in an embrace.  Hmmm?  The masculine and feminine uniting perhaps?  I have lost the booklet that goes with these cards, so I don't have the meaning of them, but I was hoping that my own experience would suffice and that it would lead me to the gist of the situation.


So here is what happened.  During the Lunar eclipse I was on the playful card.  Lots of fun times during that one.  I transitioned into the Love card. Sometimes I am reluctant to talk about my life because some of the happenings are rather extraordinary.  So here is the excerpt from my video journal.  I wanted to maintain the organic integrity of the video clip so although it is a mosh pit of messiness, it is how it happened on the morning.  I included the first 45 seconds of inaudibility so the viewer could get a good look at the Card in question.  If you want to by-pass me sounding like a record on slow jam.  45 seconds in is good.

I am still on speaking terms with the person in question. 


The love card and its suspected energies with the added force of the lunar eclipse


"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."
--Oliver Wendell Holmes

I've seen things, that maybe I didn't want to see.  It is unfortunate that I made a plan and decided what I wanted to do with my life.  Then I meet alot of someones who are really interested in me.  This happens when I have little time for something, the volume gets turned up somewhat.  I have put my own interests on the back burner and am unwilling to continue with this practice.  I am grateful for the lessons in my life in which I have given emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually or financially at the expense of my own development.  I no longer feel the need to do this anymore.  
 

There is no way to describe what a warrior should do other than adhere to the way of the warrior.  To die with your intention unrealised is to die uselessly - Unknown

The cards energies were spread out across the board.  I have been surrounded by lovey dovey couples, found out that one of my greatest challenges was also my strongest ally.  I have witnessed the strength of true friendship.  I have been annoyed and pushed to the edge of my boundaries.  There has been a lot of things.  But for this one I saw myself as I am.  I saw how my old relationships served me and how I related to others.  I became more grateful.  I thought some of them were neglectful, but in actual fact, they allowed me the freedom to pursue my own interests unhindered by demands. This is really good if you are unwilling to share your thinking/dreaming/doing time constantly.  I enjoy trivial relationships which offer the most potential of going nowhere.  In this way I'm not bound to them, sort of like casual employment; I get paid at a higher rate, don't enjoy the benefits of a full-time position, but can basically come and go as I please.  I am amazed by my brazen genius.  Most of my time these days is taken up by the things that I actually want to do. People often say that I should think about others.  I do, but I know that if they have a brain they are also capable of thinking for themselves and don’t need my input.  In fact it is most beneficial for brain exercise and gives me more time to pursue more interesting topics.   

Although I have lamented in the past over situations, I realise now, that I needed them to afford my lifestyle.  My nature designed this so I could exist.  I now have the ability to change it, if I choose.  But now I find it difficult to complain because I know that it has served my highest purpose. 

The new card that I pulled this morning was Success.  I am looking forward to see what energies this card brings. It's funny how I associate words with songs.  I think of this song when I think of that word.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8b7OUZhK7s

Romantic Terrorism

A novel heading, with two remotely dissimilar words lodged together like two peas in a pod.  What an unlikely couple.  When I first saw this term i couldn't fathom the product that this bond could make.

Romantic Terrorism -  The act of terrorising someone in a loving fanciful way.

The above sounds really scary.  Not.  However underneath the smiles and the facade of the word Romantic - http://www.thefreedictionary.com/romantic is the hidden clue that busts this cage apart.  If you add a little Terrorism - http://www.thefreedictionary.com/terrorism  it all becomes a little clearer.  This is about the insidiously friendly millitant attributes associated with romance and love.  Is there any freedom anymore from the combatant millitia that lie in wait for some hapless passerby.   

Shooting at the walls of heartache, bangbang, I am the warrior, I am the warrior, heart to heart you'll win, if you survive... - Scandal

Just a little feel good ditty to inspire someone to fall in love.  Pat Benatar also describes love as a "Battlefield".  I am seeing some clues manifest in songs.  If love is such a hassle why do people bother? My guess it is something akin to birthing children.  The body conveniently forgets how painful it is so the woman haplessly co-creates again.  This is the bodies way of tricking her so she only remembers how painful it was, moments before she goes into labour.  In the same way a person forgets about that unkind person they have been in a relationship with for the past few years, when a handsome man walks past.  Romance could be the prelude to creation, so therefore foreplay?  I am not the "Love doctor" so I can only theorise.

I found this odd word whilst struggling to find something interesting to do on a unusually quiet evening.  I even went as far as picking up the remote to the television to surf the movie channels.   Boring...Boring...I'm about to give up...Ahhh, this looks interesting.  I caught the ending of a movie with a catchy write-up about a neurotic man recounting the details of his past romantic failures. 

This is what I got from the movie.

Successful sulking
-  A Guide

1. The sulk must be sparked by some wrong doing.  The more trivial the better.
2. The punishment inflicted by the sulk must be disproportionately large in relation to the the original offence.
3. Beware of making sulking too short and therefore not allowing sufficient guilt to build up in the sulked.
4. The sulk should never be about the incident that sparked it.
5. The sulk should be gauged a success if, and only if, the sulker has to be talked out of the sulk by the sulked.

Romantic terrorism - Manipulating someone to like you by inflicting emotional pain?

I have done that before and can safely conclude that it doesn't work.  I have however experienced it in many forms.  I'll even give them pet names.

THE MIND MAGICIAN

This one likes to manipulate the way you think.  He loves to listen to you talk.  He is actually trying to find out clues as to what you like so that he can use that information to his advantage.  He is usually after sex.  If you like older men he changes his age.  If you like younger men hes all of a sudden youthful.  He assertains what kind of girl you are then he becomes that in which you like.  I call him the mind magician because he will establish his dominance in being the one who gives good advice then he will make a few little offhand comments here in there about what you should do...which usually leads to him.  "I think the best order of things is firstly Mental stimulation, the sexual stimulation then I think you should do the relationship card after that"  Oh, convenient, look here we are exchanging ideas so I wonder what should we do after that?  I hate being mind-fucked, it really gets on my nerves.

THE PUT YA DOWNER

This guy rarely has a kind word to say about you, but he loves you.  Oh, how sweet.  Your arse is never quite small enough, your not that bright, your sense of fashion is well...lacking.  This one stuffs around with your self-image so you do not believe anyone else could find you remotely likeable or attractive. 

I'm sure anyone could come up with a few of these types.  I am just getting angry thinking about them so I will stop.   But not before I share something remarkable that a guy told me once.  He calls it the "Wingman manoevre".  This is a technique used by men to get the good-looking girl away from her friend for his friend.  Let me explain.

By his observations girls always have a good-looking slim chick and a fatter uglier friend.  The good-looking one always gets the guys.  But the hassle is trying to extract her from the uglier friend.  It is the job of the "Wing man" to take one for the team and hit on the ugly chick so his mate can have the good-looking one.  If the "Wing man" takes the fatter chick home then chances are the attractive one will have a greater chance of going home with his friend.  For coffee...wink wink.

It looks like it could be a bit of a jungle out there my friends.  Best keep ya wits about ya...or if you are in for challenge or a pleasant surprise...don't. 

Venus and her lover - the mind

Relationships have taught me two great important life lessons:

1. I like my own company best.

2. I enjoy doing what I like, when I like, without having to raise my
and ask permission to take a piss.

Here were some relationships that were tipped to fail from the onset.
Pania and Koiteioki

A sea maiden that can only come on land at night, and a man of the earth who needs her to meet his family during the day... There are a few fundamental issues in the way, that may not be able to be worked through.

Rhiannon and her two husbands. One of Faye and the other of earth. How did she manage?

Here are another two organs that share a body and therefore a relationship.

The mind.

The heart

Notice how the co-habitate in the same body? Their orientation, their way of expressing themselves is different. People think that only the mind can think. Research shows that the heart too is smart. Two sovereign thinking organs living in the same body?

When you hear the word intelligence the first thing you think of is the brain. New research has shown that the heart is in fact smart. The brain in our head is dutifully obeying messages that are being sent from another brain "The brain in the heart" - Heart Math

Bi-polar?

I reminisce about an ex-partner who made me see this in myself. I like vegetables, he likes meat and loathed anything with leaves. I could sit here all day and sing his sonet, but I will get back to the subject. i sometimes I wondered what was I supposed to learn here? I tried to look through the mirrors but came up clueless.

Everything made sense over a beer and a conversation that went something like this:

"Why don't you stop using your heart and start using your brain, stuff everyone else, think about yourself" The antagonist shrieked.
"Honestly, I don't like using my brain because it sucks." I concluded.
"What?...Why?" He looked at me perplexed.
"Because my brain is clinical" I replied "It doesn't care about anyone else, all it wants to do is to get things done. My brain is calculating, ruthless, it cares for noone. It sees flaws and dislikes imperfections, its a task master. I don't like to consult it to lead my life"
"So you let your heart lead?"
"Yes, I do"
"If you used your brain you'd be excellent in business"
As I sized up my partner of old...I realised the mirror. If my mind could manifest as a person, it would look act and be like him.

It is often said, in matters of the heart, it wants what it wants, and the mind has to follow - Something I read, but made up the rest

Look what happens when one side is favoured over the other. Genesis 4:1 - 4:16. The bible story of Cain and Abel.

Cain was the tiller of the soil and Abel was a shepherd. God favoured Abel, and as a result Cain killed his brother.

The two have to meet somewhere. Perhaps on the bridge between the heart and mind. Alchemy? Not quite. A blending and merging.

People merge energies by hanging out. Either professional personal or just accidental. The energy meets blends then seperates.

Give to me your leather, take from me my lace - Stevie Nicks

How does our relationships with others factor in this divine union? The heart and the mind (inside our bodies). The Divine Masculine and Feminine?

The Divine Masculine:

The Divine Feminine:

The bridge I envision which may be applicable to this merger is how we relate to and treat others? Could our relationships reflect the state of our divine nature? Could relationships be the bridge or the key to which both can view and interact with each other? Blending the heart/mind, the Divine Masculine/Feminine. Blending the two together. This blending and merging ourselves with ourselves, merges ourselves with others.

Crushed and broken on the virgin snow

So I have decided to wallpaper over my previous blog, because I don't want people to view "That" as they welcome themselves into my sanctum. I didn't realise that people actually read what I had to say. I am embarrassed that this is the case, as this blog site was set up so that I could secretly express myself.

I intended that people would be very busy and miss my blogsite in small letters on my Facebook page. But alas this is not the case. Anyway, to all you people that get a giggle about what I write about I'm glad that I had this effect on you.

Todays subject is romantic partnership. I understand how difficult it is for two people to like each other. The planets and the moon have to be aligned and must correspond with the right time and place and bullshit. I'm fucking over it. All the bullshit with feelings. The jealousy and the insecurity that rears it's ugly head in the heart and the mind. It is awful. It is no wonder why people who don't like each other much stay together. The battlefield would be a more cosier place then the romance arena. Running the gamult, wasting hours of thinking of someone, combine and blend energies for what? What is the fucking point to it? Giving birth hurts, but you know its going to be over at some stage or die. Death is like dying and then you don't remember. Falling in love and being in love with someone, is a indefinite situation with pain of the above two. Especially if it is not reciprocated, and extra specially if you can't let go.

For me personally. I like men. I think they are very attractive. Especially if we gel together. I just feel I don't have the neccessary time to waste on trying to find a partner. It's time consuming. I want to live, and I don't really feel that whilst lying in a smack like pool of ecstacy everynight making coocoochoo heart flutters in my chest towards someone whom I can't seem to get out of my mind.

I have been in love and I have felt what it was like to feel despair. They both have similar outcomes. You can't seem to do things.

I am an empath kind of person. If the object of my affection is going through some shady ordeals, I'll sense it. I'll feel it, and writhe in it. He will feel better. His life will start to feel fresher. I'll lay slain, crushed and broken on the virgin snow with all the issues that aren't mine. This is why I have to choose wisely. The question I have to ask myself is "Is he worth the pain?